One to One Coaching

I offer free 30 minute telephone/Skype consultations for people wanting to find out more about coaching on the 'baby decision'. Email me at mailto:beth@ticktockcoaching.co.uk and assistant Laura will respond and arrange an appointment with you. Visit http://www.ticktockcoaching.co.uk/ for more information about my coaching services.

Friday, 21 October 2016

When is the best time to have children?

It's definitely autumn now in the UK - the nights are getting dark earlier and earlier.  Today happens to be Apple Day! In celebration of this great day,   I thought I'd post a photo from The Orchard Project of some beautiful apples at a community orchard!  It's amazing that there are so many orchards in cities - I had no idea before I started to do some work with this fantastic charity.  If you live in a city,  why not take a moment to appreciate any fruit trees growing near you?

So, back to the topic of this blog!  This week, someone asked me the question which is the title of this blog post - Is there a 'best' time to have children?  Is there a right age to have children?      A few years ago, commentator Kirstie Allsopp caused controversy when she said that, with all the problems associated with fertility, women should consider starting a family as early as they can ( see this article in the Guardian Kirstie Allsopp tells young women: Ditch university and have a baby by 27 ).

Personally, I think that there isn't RIGHT age to have a child but there are pro's and cons to having a child at each age as I've outlined below:

20's - The big bonus to having children in your 20's is that your fertility is more likely to be in a good state during this time and you are more likely to get pregnant than if you waited.  You are also more likely to have more energy and need less sleep!  The downside is that if you are not yet established in your career which may make taking enough time off for maternity leave tricky. If you are in your early 20's, you might find many of your friends are travelling, socialising and doing very different activities that you are able to do as a mother

30's - In your 30's, you are more likely to feel like 'now is the right time'. You'll have more life experience and will probably feel like you are ready for a new phase of life.  You will be more established in a career or work path and feel able to take time off from work without it damaging your career too much.  The downside is that if you are in your late 30's, you may find yourself facing some fertility issues.  Another issue has been highlighted in this short article 'It's a Tough Time: Challenges for Women in their 20's and 30's' - as the author points out, this is a time women can feel overwhelmed by the many life choices they have to make.

40's - You are likely to feel as though you have the life experience and maturity to be a mother.  You might be more senior in your work which can make it easier to organise flexible and family friendly working.   You may also feel more financially able to have children at this age than when you were young. If you are considering having a child on your own, you may feel that you have the means and ability to do this now.   The downside of having children in your 40's is that it may take longer to get pregnant and that you might feel more tired and have less energy than when you were younger.

I think the important thing is to start considering whether we want children or not as early as possible. Particularly when we are looking at choosing our life partner we need to consider whether they are on the same page in wanting or not wanting children.

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